The Inspector

By NPI, Inc.



How to Survive a Scary Movie

 October 23, 2023 |  Home Maintenance, Holiday, Just for Fun, Cleaning Tips |  entertaining, fall, organization

Since we’ve previously discussed how to confirm whether your home is active with the paranormal, we thought it might be valuable to go over some additional Halloween-time survival strategies. When watching a scary movie, it’s easy to become frustrated by the classic mistakes and gaffes that the characters make as they bungle their way into the killer’s hands. Although it’s reasonable to assume that the stress and terror of running for your life can keep you from making practical decisions, choices made by horror movie protagonists can be baffling.

In the inevitable case that you end up cornered by a masked, knife-wielding stranger straight out of a slasher movie, you don’t want to fall for the same old slip-ups. To be better prepared, we consulted some of the best minds in home maintenance, organization, and personal fitness for their tips on surviving a scary movie.

How To Tell That You’re In A Scary Movie
Naturally, the first step for surviving a scary movie is to confirm that you are, in fact, living in a scary movie yourself. Although it may seem painfully obvious to audience goers that the characters shouldn’t investigate that noise in the attic, or search their creepy, unfinished basement to reset the breakers, remember that these are just homeowners attempting to perform regular home maintenance tasks. 

Some easy signs that may indicate you’re in a horror film include: 

  1. It is a dark and stormy night. 
  2. You live in a big, old house. 
  3. Your neighbors are strange. 
  4. You live by or near a cemetery and/or graveyard. 

While each factor is not definitive, studies indicate that one or more of these elements appearing in conjunction exponentially increases the chances that you are, in fact, in a scary movie. For more information on identifying whether your home is haunted, check out our previous blog!

On a dark and stormy night, electrical issues have a knack of popping up, plus heavy rains can lead to leaking and mold if left unaddressed. Ask your local NPI inspector about their thermography and mold inspections to keep your home safe and repair costs down!

What Not To Do While In A Scary Movie
Once you’ve confirmed that your cozy night at home will instead be occupied by running from an odd fellow in a hockey mask, there are few things in particular worth avoiding, starting with your cell phone. A natural impulse will always be to call for help, but don’t fall for this trap! Whether your phone is dead, lost, or service is down, simply calling for help never works in a scary movie. In fact, more often not, the time spent searching for a phone is what leads someone to their demise. 

On the other end of things, every natural impulse in a survival scenario would suggest that there is strength in numbers. Despite this, if you find yourself in a scary movie you will undoubtedly suggest splitting up, or perhaps you’ll encounter a strong desire to run off and investigate that peculiar sound coming from the basement on your own. Resist this! Don’t say, “I’ll be right back.” Don’t be curious. Remember all of those times that you screamed at your television screen watching those cheap horror flicks and choose to stay with the group instead. 

Avoiding pitfalls isn't all that it takes to survive scary movie scenarios, however. Survival and safety around the home is best accomplished by thinking ahead and taking preventive measures.

Scary Movie Survival Tips

  1. Start with Run-Worthy Footwear
    While there are many strategies that homeowners can employ to assuage a horror movie scenario, filling a house with Kevin McCallister-caliber traps and tripwires are impractical for anyone wanting to live comfortably. A far more sensible start should be to secure a pair of tennis shoes that are durable enough to handle all sorts of debris and conditions.

    Homeowners are sure to need sensible footwear when performing regular maintenance tasks anyway, whether they are cleaning their gutters, or spending time in the garden. The benefits are aplenty, so don’t catch yourself stumbling out of your flip flops from a crazed slasher’s pursuit. 
  2. Reduce Unnecessary Clutter
    By October 31st, the school year is in full swing. Naturally, it can be hard to keep a house clean and organized while balancing work with the kids’ school schedules. With that said, homeowners will regret a cluttered, messy home when they discover that their Halloween night is going to be produced by A24.

    Cut down on the number of dolls in your home (they are prone to possessions), and minimize tripping hazards when maneuvering up and down any staircases. Slips and falls are always dangerous, plus a tidy home and workspace is proven to improve productivity and mental wellness! Learn more about keeping your home organized throughout the school year by exploring our recent article.
  3. Don’t Forget About Cardio
    Finally, any preparation will be for naught if you find yourself huffing and puffing when you should be tracking down a neighbor for help, or throwing a cursed item into the fire. A healthy workout routine will help you create some extra distance during your chases down those long, dark hallways.

    One great way to make your exercise schedule more attainable and convenient is to remodel that spare room into a home gym! To prepare for your next big home project, contact your local NPI home inspector to ensure your house can handle the change, or recommend any fixes before you’re caught by surprise. Home maintenance problems that go unaddressed for too long can turn into additional damage and unwanted repair bills - talk about scary! Stick with National Property Inspections to keep your screams to a minimum this fall.


NPI is Celebrating Halloween All October!
Every fall, we tour North America and visit some of the most famous haunted locations. Check out our most recent stop, and have a happy Halloween!

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